Of all of the popular tropes in romance novels, I think The Secret Baby baffles and fascinates me the most. First, I'm always amazed by the leaps in logic and emotion that heroines take when they decide to keep the baby a secret. Second, I wonder why these accidental pregnancy/secret baby plots have such a firm niche--why are these things popular, guys? But third, and most importantly, what if we tried to pull this in real life? Seriously, these stories are not even slightly grounded in reality. Here's why:1. It is literally impossible to keep your pregnancy a secret. I have lived through high school and college, which means I've seen my share of accidental pregnancies. It takes about two weeks for even your vaguest of acquaintances to learn whats up with you. Your only hope would be to quit your job and move a couple of states away, and even then people's first thought will be "Gee, I wonder if she got knocked up?" And some nosy bitch is probably going to call that guy you were banging, ask him if he knows where you are, and he'll put two and two together, and there you go.
2. No sane person wants to support their baby solo. At the very least, your going to ask for child support. Yet I can't tell you how many category romance heroines I've seen run away from that really rich and handsome guy who fathered her baby. Yeah. Sure. Okay.
3. In the real world, where children are not plot contrivances, there are serious concerns that make keeping your baby a secret...how can I put this? Freaking stupid. First, there are the medical concerns dealing with what your baby might be inheriting from Clueless Dad. Second, when Secret Baby grows into Secret Teen, they are going to start asking questions, and demanding answers. You better have a damn good cover story planned.
Personally I'd go with something like this: "A long time ago Mommy was a vampire hunting werewolf/fairy, on patrol in Madeup City, New York. In a quest to achieve a greater end, I formed an alliance with the most notorious antihero werehamster in the city. A torrid love affair ensued. I fell in love with him unintentionally, and wanted to stay with him forever, but was uncertain of his feelings. Then I learned that I was pregnant, and since hamsters are notoriously cannibalistic toward their young, I knew that I had to leave. I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to eat you, honey. It was for you!"
Not only that but to me, these stories smack of coercion. Oh sure, he slept with her 9 months-9 years ago and she comes back with this child, and then they fall in love? I just think, are you *sure* he's in love with you or just coerced into "doing the right thing"? That's the main thought that keeps me from enjoying these books. Secret Prince, I can take, secret baby, not so much.
ReplyDeleteThis, too, is a valid point. In real life I've known several people that married because they had a baby, and the results range from instant divorce to fairly solid marriage. I try not to judge.
DeleteIn her book, Exclusively Yours, Shannon Stacy has a subplot involving a couple that originally got married because she was preggers. She does a really great job of showing the wife's insecurity--how she's not sure if her husband loves her or stays with her for the kids. It's really very touching.
I think one reason I'm not such a huge fan of romances is because of things like this. I don't think I have read many books with a secret baby though. Fun post!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, not all romance novels have babies. But boy, is it hilarious when they do!
Deletehilarious post... sounds like a cheesy soap opera. i haven't read a romance novel in years.
ReplyDeleteyou've been tagged! http://growninsouthernground.wordpress.com/2012/05/27/tag-im-it/
Great post! People always assume that when someone "goes away" that they got knocked up. I know a girl actually who went on an exchange program for nine months to Japan. When she came back there was a new baby. But her mom had the baby, not her! The poor girl was really embarrassed because everyone (who hadn't seen her mom pregnant) assumed that it was really hers.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, that's rather unfortunate! We had two girls who switched to being home schooled when they got pregnant. It made people suspicious every time someone left for any other reason. But then again, we also had a small handful of girls who stayed in school during their pregnancy.
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