Thursday, September 8, 2011

Crazy Covers: Carry Me!

So here's an ongoing trend in romance novel covers--guys carrying ladies. Now, personally I've been carried a few times and I can tell you--it might look romantic, but it isn't the most comfortable way to travel. And there is no dignity in it. Plus, it only takes smacking your head against one door frame to figure out that walking yourself is a better way to get to the bed...
Is he going to carry her into the ocean? And drown her?
At first glance I seriously thought that guy was naked. Maybe it's the tan pants against the sunset background, maybe it's the early morning fog over my eyes, or maybe I'm just perverted. In any case, I saw a naked guy and it made me giggle. Also the tagline "Losing control is the ultimate rush..." runs right into his ass. Great job, cover people.
It looks like she's kicking to get away. Told you being carried is uncomfortable!
Overall this is a pretty cute cover. But once I got over the boots (what kind of outfit goes with red cowgirl boots? And where would I buy them?) I noticed that you can't see faces in this one. For all you know, he's a deranged serial killer holding her over a ravine, and the only reason she's not struggling is that she'd rather not fall to her death. Don't mess with Texas, or it will murder you.

 Now, suppose your boyfriend/husband/male slave is not, in fact, hulking and strong. Piggyback rides are a fun theory. But look at that poor guys face! He's practically grimacing. "Please get off of me before we both fall over" doesn't make a very romantic tagline.

Even the dog looks on them with pity.
And this is what happens when someone tries to carry you, but gets tired halfway to the door. That's ok though, because sitting on someone's lap is like the lazier more comfortable version of being carried. Although rocking chairs are dangerous in their own way, believe me.

*Images obtained from


  1. I loved this post! You are so funny I had to go show this to my

  2. You are hilarious! I thought that guy was naked at first glance, too!
    plus, "Even the dog looks at them with pity"
    Wow. Romance covers are pretty ridiculous. You picked some good ones.


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