Thursday, November 3, 2011

Crazy Covers: Wardrobe Edition

There's a growing problem in the romance world (and no, I don't mean the hero's "growing problem"). I'm referring to the ongoing epidemic of shirtlessness. It seems these poor, defenseless, highly muscled men are tragically unable to find proper clothing. Whether this crisis is a result of cotton shortages or the revenge of disgruntled laundry women, this problem must be stopped. Let's take a look at some of the shocking evidence.

Go ahead and look up the premise of this book. Erotica is so ridiculous.
Right there, we have a shirt theft in progress! And the poor guy is so distracted by the random blue crap in her hair that he's paralyzed! Wake up dude! Fight back!
What, the Lord of the Abyss can't afford a shirt?
WHY? WHY would you put on a cape without a freaking shirt? This is the second time I've seen this! Maybe there's a club. The Shirtless Cape Wearing Club. I can only assume it's boys only...

Oh great, a present I can't return for store credit.
I can just imagine the focus group that came up with this cover. "Ok, what festive item can we use to cover his penis? Candy cane? Too small...Christmas tree? Too big...Jaunty red ribbon? Perfect!"

Good effort, dude, but a kitchen towel does not count as a shirt.
I think this book is about a pastry chef. Pretty sure shirtless cooking is against health code. But I guess kitchens get hot and...stuff happens. What if that was acceptable in any job? Suppose they started making covers with shirtless doctors? Who wouldn't want to be treated by a model wearing a lab coat...and nothing else?

That's a pretty big gun...Think he's over-compensating?
Yet another job where going shirtless makes no real sense. As a SEAL or a special ops person or whatever he is, shouldn't he be in a Kevlar? I guess Kevlar isn't sexy. You know what else in not sexy...BULLET WOUNDS! Just a thought.

All kidding aside, dear cover artists, please lay off the shirtless dudes, ok? I can't carry these books around without attracting "looks". Let the poor men wear some clothes.

1 comment:

  1. All of those guys on the covers must work out for forever -- if I showed them to any of my guy friends, it'd probably damage their egos LOL.

    And I know what you mean! It's so hard to read books with sort of awkward covers like these outside of my room because people will look at me funny. Especially my parents. They like to monitor what I read sometimes, and they definitely would NOT approve of these, no matter how amazing the story! x)

    Love this post -- thanks so much for sharing! :)


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