Misc. Mondays: Suffering In Silence

It's human nature to enjoy complaining about things. We all do it, whether it's letting off a little steam about a coworker that really annoys you, or ranting for 700 words about a book you loathed. When I started my blog, my number one goal was to share the books (and other things) that I love. It's happened that, occasionally, it has also been an outlet for the cathartic, pleasurable human activity that is bitching about things.

Suffering in silence is tough. Even if it's something as simple as a book that really annoyed me, I feel compelled to tell someone about it and make them share my pain. You, dear readers, are that someone. The only downside to this is that I tend to hate things that many other people enjoy.

That feeling of "Everyone else loves this, but I hate it," is one of the only things that keeps me silent. Not long ago, I was asked to review a new book, which was self published, and which all other previous reviewers seemed to enjoy. I was the first and only one star rating on Amazon and Goodreads. I felt pretty freaking guilty about that, and almost took down the rating and kept the review to myself, just to avoid feeling like a bitch.

But like I said, it's no fun suffering in silence. So I'm dedicating this post to once and for all sharing with you all of the popular things that I personally dislike. That way, you won't be surprised if I complain about them later. Here, I made a chart:

So there, my secrets are out. These are the things the general public seems to love, that I loath. I'm sorry. I'm especially sorry about they ice cream cake, because it tries so hard and it never did anything to hurt me. But we just aren't meant to be.

What about you? Do you you feel like the only one to detest a popular book, movie, or snack treat? Share your hatred in the comments. Happy Monday, everyone!

Misc. Monday: Age Differences

It's time once again for more meaningless commentary on fictional characters. And perhaps later, some pie*.

Remember when I talked about pet peeves in books? Well, one that I sometimes see pop up in romance and erotica is age difference. This is one that doesn't phase me much, personally, but inevitably when I'm browsing reviews of books where a significant age difference exist between the protagonists, SOMEONE has to comment on it. The most common word I see used is "creepy", and occasionally "gross".

And the thing is, I get it. I get why this makes some of us feel ookie. There are a lot of social and practical issues inherent in the wide age difference, enough to screw up the perfect Happily Ever After romance ending that readers are after. Let's look at a few of those issues**.

1) Different Phase of Life. When the age difference is wide enough that normal, healthy people of those age groups are in a position to need and want different things. A young man, fresh out of college, hooks up with a middle aged woman. He's just starting a career and might want marriage and babies. She's old enough that natural child bearing is a medically dangerous prospect. Plus she's probably well established in career and lifestyle and so forth. So...not really compatible. 

2) Sometimes Getting Old Sucks. The older party is going to physically get old a lot sooner. They're going to be dealing with things like cataracts and bladder issues and osteoporosis and impotence. Is the younger party going to become a nurse in these cases? Be left a widow at age 30? Not particularly romantic.

3) The Potential For Power Imbalance. Getting older comes with good things too, like life experience and wisdom. All that extra knowledge equals a kind of power that the younger party is going to lack. It becomes difficult to see how this is going to result in an equal relationship.

4) Dealing With Other People In Your Family/Social Circle. Back in the real world, I know someone who is the exact same age as her stepmother. The level of awkwardness that this creates is unbelievable. But putting that specific case aside, in general, if you're in a relationship with a wide age gap a lot of people are not going to approve, and they're going to let you know that in all kinds of annoying and passive aggressive ways that slowly chip away at your confidence. So our fictional couple is going to be subject to social ridicule and it will probably help to destroy their happy ending.

...But guess what, guys? There's a loophole! 

If the older party happens to have made a deal with the devil or God or the Easter Bunny, or got bit by a werewolf or werehamster, or sprinkled with fairy dust or ANYTHING AT ALL that made them immortal, all bets are off. No one really comments on the inherent "creepiness" of a 500 year old vampire dating an 18 year old fairy/tiger shifter/garden gnome. Immortality suddenly makes it socially acceptable for a man to enter a high school and hit on the nearest hot thing he sees. 

Look, I made a chart to illustrate this absurdity:

I guess this makes sense? It's true that immortality does eliminate a lot of the age difference issues. Immortal people don't really have limited life phases, since they can just have babies or start new careers whenever they please. Nobody is aging, so no adult diapers to concern ourselves with (probably). And if you are a wereturtle, everyone in your social circle is probably a weresomething, so no one is going to judge you for marrying too young.

The power imbalance problem is still there, and is in fact multiplied exponentially. Once you've lived a few centuries your experiences should be enough to make even the most worldly 20 something human feel like an infant. But, magically, the power imbalance seems to become part of the appeal. Old immortals have a lot of stuff. They've built up stores of money, houses, cars, etc., gained knowledge in everything from philosophy to sushi making, and most importantly have figured out every effective sexual technique known to humans (or human like bodies).

I think there's still a creepy factor involved in the ancient/young scenario we as readers are willfully ignoring, but to each his own. If I were single, I would totally be looking for a druid demigod to rock my world and make me young forever***.

What do you think? Are age differences (in books) creepy? Sexy? Indifferent? It depends? Diapers? Leave a comment to let us know. Happy Monday!

*I totally lied. There's no pie at all. I'm sorry.
**I want to assert here that I'm referring to fictional couples, and not intentionally disrespecting any real life couples. 
 ***If you are, in fact, a hot male immortal demigod, feel free to call me anyway. We can...talk.

Miscellaneous Mondays: Tippy the Love Triangle

All readers have their own set of pet peeves. Like, some people really hate cliffhangers and won't read a book if you warn them that there's a cliffhanger. If you're like me, you read it anyway, and then throw the book at unsuspecting by-standers out of frustration (sorry Josh). Some people can't handle infidelity. Stupid characters. Children in peril. Lazy characters. Awkward dialogue. Bad grammar. Slang. Dialect. Authors who fail to understand the anatomy of relevant body parts.

And then there's love triangles. *Sigh*

Here's the thing: love triangles keep showing up at various levels in tons of the books I read. It's a pet peeve for me. It's not a deal breaker, but it makes me grind my teeth it frustration. Like there was Mockingjay...

When I saw this on deviant art, my only thought was "If only!" But I digress...

I know readers for whom love triangles are deal breakers. So whenever I'm trying to recommend or warn off a book, I end up writing this extended paragraph--"It's a love triangle, and that bothers me a bit, but if it would bother you a lot, maybe don't read this book...." I'm sick of this. So I'm replacing that paragraph with this:

Meet Tippy the Love Triangle

Tippy is our new mascot. The noble mascot of love triangles everywhere. Don't hate Tippy. Tippy doesn't mean to hurt anyone. Tippy is just confused, and can't make up his mind.

And from now on, Tippy is going to take the place of my "this book has a love triangle, fml" paragraph. Anyone else is welcome to barrow him as necessary. Tippy has a hard time being exclusive.

I hope everyone's books are pet peeve free this week. Happy Monday, everyone!

Following Friday (13)

Q: What is your biggest pet peeve when it comes to books? Maybe you don’t like love triangles or thin plots? Tell us about it!

Oh good, a chance to complain! 

1) Stupid main characters. That TSTL heroine that runs headlong into the dark alley, with no weapon, knowing that there might be monsters? I hope something eats her.

2) Love triangles. Ugh, stop writing these damn things! There are only about three authors that I know of that can write a convincing love triangle, and chances are you are not one of them. So just don't. They come across as a flimsy plot device, they don't lead to meaningful character development, and 90% of the time they make one or all of your characters look like selfish morons. 

3) Characters that fail to earn their happy ending. You know, the heroine who runs away from the hero and is just lucky, really really lucky, that he comes after her? The damsel in distress that never learns to save herself? The selfish/jackass hero that grovels a tiny bit and gets forgiven for all of his wrong doings? Totally kills the book for me. If you expect glowing, eternal love and happiness you should damn well have to work for it.