A Quickie Review of Saga, Volume 2, by Brian K. Vauhan

It's probably obvious by now that I'm not as comfortable reviewing graphic novels as I am with standard novels. It's more or less an entirely different medium, and my ability to criticize it is just not very well developed. I can't, for example, effectively comment on are style or layout because my experience is simply inadequate. However, my mission on this blog is to share good stories when I find them and warn against the bad ones. This is a good story.

Saga was a weird little reading detour for me. I'm not sure why I picked it up, considering the fact that the only graphic novel series I've bothered to invest time and money in (Fables and Sandman), were ones I chose because they have legitimacy and history and dozens of great reviews to recommend them. Saga, on the other hand, is fairly new. This volume only marks issues 7-12, but every single issue is a larger than life demonstration of the upper limits of what graphic novels can do when it comes to the weird and the wonderful.

Story-wise, we are still following newborn Hazel and her family, and this volume introduces us to her paternal grandparents. What has impressed me most about the series so far is the layer of sincere emotion laying right alongside the bizarre-creepy-gross. Alana and Marco fell in love, not entirely by accident--you kind of get the sense that they really wanted to. Irrational and impulsive though they might be, they really just want to hold their family together. When that means being honest with Marco's parents, and when they seem to react badly, Marco and Alana are prepared to stand their ground.

The dialogue is the best thing about this book. It's funny without being too silly. Whenever you're in danger of taking this book too seriously, the characters are there, hanging out right on the edge of ridiculous. I particularly enjoyed meeting the author of the trashy novel that changed Alana's life. He offers this sneaky little commentary on author intention vs. reader interpretation, while never tipping us off as to what his real leanings are. This, in the same book that has robot alien sex and monster penises. It's a raunchy book, but the sex and unapologetic nudity pretty much work in context. It's not a book for children, but again, the weirdness is part of the charm.

 In any case, I fully recommend that this is not a book for everyone. It is explicit and it is violent and it is easily the strangest thing I've read this year. At the same time, if that warning doesn't put you off, I encourage you to at least give the first twelve issues of Saga a try. It's worth experiencing. 4.5 stars

On Photojournalism: A Review of Fair Haven by JoAnn Ross

I originally read this book years ago, when i was thirteen or fourteen and just discovering romance novels. I remembered a few things about it--that it talked a bit about The Troubles in Ireland, that it involved the hero taking in a daughter that he never knew he had, and that the heroine was a doctor. If that seems like a good set up, you can imagine why I wanted to reread it.

 Michael was a photojournalist who traveled to some seriously rough areas to document war and human suffering. He's hung up his camera to return to a quiet life of farming, when an old woman arrives on his doorstep with an eight year old girl that she claims is Michael's daughter. Michael takes her in fairly willingly, and is soon charmed by her bright imagination. Erin, our heroine, comes to town to take over as the local doctor for a friend who is dying.

One of the things that I forgot about this book, and this author's work in general, is her willingness to include the possibility of a little supernatural, a few quiet miracles, in her otherwise purely contemporary work. Nora Roberts often does something very similar. She has ghosts that show up and talk to people, and no one really makes a fuss about it. The children talk of guardian angels and magical creatures with a conviction that they must be real. I find it an interesting way to add depth to the story.

I had also forgotten how emotional this book is. The dying doctor, for example, I had forgotten entirely. Then there's a conflict in which Shea, Michael's daughter, appears to be suffering from seizures with unknown causes. Michael's attachment to Shae is probably the sweetest part of the book. He's a wonderfully loyal and caring father.

The romance itself is passable. It's sweet and hot when it needs to be, but it gets pushed aside for the other conflicts fairly often. I found their individual character development more engaging than their relationship development, so it sort of fails that way.

In any case, I liked many aspects of this book, the second time around as well as the first. It's worth reading if you like contemporary books with an Irish country setting. 4 stars.

Misc. Monday: Reading Romance as a Teenager (And Beyond)

The process of blogging and reviewing really forces you to think about why you like the things that you like. This isn't an easy task for me, since my tastes are all over the place and perhaps a bit mercurial. My likes and dislikes continue to evolve, but one fact remains: I really like romance.

My love of romance was likely spawned at a very young age, but while it might be interesting to talk about the effects of Disney movies on a child's brain, my focus on romance in literature began with The Raging Quiet by Sherryl Jordan. It's the story of a young woman (in colonial times?) who befriends a deaf man, and ultimately forms a bond of affection with him despite the prejudices and suspicions of the towns people. I read this book when I was eleven, and it was responsible for flipping that switch in my brain that made me want to read romance centered novels.

Sadly, the face of young adult literature was bleak when I was that age, at least from where I was sitting. The public library that offered most of my reading material just didn't have much for teens or precocious preteens. So, after I read everything they had from Sherryl Jordan, plus the odd contemporary YA, I kind of got the hint that I might need to move on to adult literature. By the time I was twelve or thirteen, I was combing the adult fantasy shelves (our library did not have a romance section at the time) looking for adventure in fairy tales.

I got into reading actual Romance Novels because of their availability in my  household. My mother read them, so they were always around, and by the time I was thirteen no one thought to question what I picked up. Mom wasn't much for forbidding books. I remember being a freshman in high school and having a friend tell me that she wasn't allowed to pick up books or movies unless her parents screened them first. This concept was so foreign to me that I couldn't get past it, and kept questioning it-- "Seriously, I can't just lend you a book without you getting in trouble?"

I digress.

My first proper romance novel was Midnight Bayou by Nora Roberts. I liked, and still do like it because of it's strong characters and intense, steamy relationship building...But also because it has ghosts. Roberts actually likes to sneak a lot of ghost here and there in her otherwise contemporary books, but in this case the ghosts are central to the plot. And it is fantastic. So while I did go on to read a lot of contemporary romance and eventually some historical, my primary drug of choice became paranormal romance. From there it was a skip and a jump to Christine Feehan and Maggie Shayne, who's books I spent my allowance on and asked for for Christmas.

It's a valid point that both Roberts and Feehan pepper their novels with fairly graphic sex scenes. They weren't written with teens in mind. I just don't think it matters much. That is, I don't think that reading such scenes at that age is damaging in the way that some parents assume it is. Not all teens are super impressionable sponges that soak up and imitate everything they encounter in fiction.  You also have to take into account that romance novels (with some exceptions), portray mostly monogamous sex between people in love. So were I to imitate them, I'd end up traveling to the Carpathian mountains in order to find my lifemate, for whom I've been saving myself. Or something.

These days, there are so many really good options for teens. The climate has changed, with the young adult market having exploded, and now there are plenty of (nice, safe, sex free) romance novels available that are specifically designed for teens. I find them in my formerly very boring local library, and I'm really excited about that. But just as I think it's okay for adults to indulge in a little YA fiction, I still believe that there's nothing wrong with a well adjusted teen trying out some adult fiction. Romance novels have the ability to portray healthy relationships, communication, compromise, and happy endings in a way that no other genre can quite attain. So, here's to romance novels, and all of the people out there who are just discovering them. Let's keep Happily Ever After alive!

Misc. Monday: Goosebumps

The things you read as a child have a way of sticking with you forever. The original Goosebumps series was the first set of books that I ever read entirely on my own outside of school. My older brother had a decent sized collection that he passed to me, and I promptly whined to my parents until I filled in the gaps. All told, I ended up reading the first 45 books in the series over the course of a year or so (1st-2nd grade). Of course I later reread my favorite ones. So for today's Misc. Monday, I thought I'd go through a few of them and see what memories I could kick to life.

#1, Welcome to Dead House, sparks zero literary memories (I must not have liked it), but I do have memories of watching the TV episode. Oh, that's right, there was a TV series--a cheesetastic TV series with bad effects and bad acting. I was, I don't know, seven when I saw this and it still sticks in my brain as a quintessentially bad haunted house story.

#2, Stay Out of the Basement, is about a freaking plant monster. Plants are not scary, even to a seven year old, and even back then I remember thinking this one was funny. The protagonists, Margaret and Casey, go down as the stupidest children in the world for not immediately making the connection between their missing BOTONIST father and the plant monster.

#3, Monster Blood, OH GOD, I loved this little book. It's about a boy who buys some flubber that grows and grows and starts consuming things. I'm not sure why this excited my seven-year-old brain, but it did. I remember using my allowance to buy green Gak so I could rein-act the story.

#5, The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb, was another one of my favorites. I remember fixating on it because it's about a boy who ends up wandering through an Egyptian tomb on his own. I also became fascinated with the intensely gross facts of how mummies were made.

#7, Night of the Living Dummy...Umm, Dummies are freaking scary, I don't care how old you are. This is the only one that I remember kind of scared me a little.

#14, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp--Again, I don't so much remember the book as the TV show. I remember that it made me suddenly aware that werewolves were cool and scary. I asked my brother about them, and like all good big brothers, he proceeded to try to terrify me by introducing me to "real" werewolf movies.

#19, Deep Trouble--I remember really liking that there was a mermaid in this. The details are fuzzy now, but I know this was a favorite because of the deep sea theme.

#21, Go Eat Worms--I remember this one because I found it gross. It didn't scare me, it just...creeped me. Worms show up in this kids food and...yeah, EWW. Years later, in college, there was a lab involving mealworms which were being held in pie plates. I had a flashback to THIS BOOK and mentally flipped out a little.

#24, The Phantom of the Auditorium--This was my introduction the The Phantom of the Opera. I read this, and then I watched the Wishbone episode about The Phantom of the Opera, and I was promptly obsessed. Of course, I didn't actually get to see a production of any kind until years later, but I owe the idea of seeing it to Goosebumps.

#34, Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes--This is the last one I can actually clearly remember reading. Gnomes are funny to me. My grandparents always had them, and I think it amused me to think of them as evil instead of adorable.

So that's my little trip down nostalgia lane for the week. Does anyone else remember these books? Do you remember finding them funny, cool, or scary?

Happy Reading!

On Grim Reapers: A Review of First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones

This book came to me with nothing but great reviews. And not just great reviews from readers, but also from writers like J.R. Ward and Kresley Cole. People genuinely love this book. Now, having finally read it, can I just say...meh?

Whatever magic everyone else feels for this book honestly eludes me, and it's hard to say how much of my reaction is due to a genuine lack of quality, and how much is due to a let down from all the build up of my expectations going into this. Because believe me, a recommendation from the great authors of paranormal romance will always stack my expectations sky high--and maybe that's a bad thing.

The story is about Charley Davidson, aka the Grim Reaper. She can see the dead and they can pass through her to the other side. In the meantime she can help them tie up loose ends and settle their affairs and what have you. Unsurprisingly, she is also a private investigator (although, to me, she seems really bad at it). So, in this book there is a big mystery surrounding three dead lawyers, a falsely accused murderer, and another unconnected falsely accused murderer who has been having dream sex with Charley and stalking her for years. No, I'm not kidding.

Positive Comments

So much potential. Seriously, so much freaking potential. You have a quirky heroine. You have a sexy, mysterious hero. Funny ghosts. The potential for heart felt stories about death and moving on. The potential for wackiness. The potential for heart stopping, unique romance.

I really liked where the book was going with Reyes. I wanted it to be just about him. Honestly, that would have put this book easily in the 4 to 5 star range for me...

Critical Comments

...but Reyes isn't really a character. Well, he is, but he isn't. He's a being. He's a mystery. Which is fine, up and to a point, but won't work for an entire book if what you intend to do is write a romance. We see Reyes and a sex symbol, a problem to be solved, a puzzle piece, but we don't get to connect with him as a person. You can't call what he has with Charley a relationship, because it's formed in this vague smoke-and-mirrors telling that leaves me feeling distanced from it. To me they seem like potential lovers, but not necessarily anything more.

This book does a lot of telling instead of showing. Charley's backstory, for example, get's told via her explaining her past to others. This was so frustrating to me. She talks about these huge events, but she's flippant about them. We don't actually get to feel her emotions in those moments that supposedly shaped her into who she is today.

I didn't feel a connection to Charley, mostly because of the above mentioned problem of too much telling, but also because the narration was trying way to freaking hard to be witty and fun. The events are described as though from a third party commentator with a penchant for sarcasm, rather than from the point of view of someone who this is actually happening to. 

We are told that Charley is smart and good at her job, but I don't see either of those things as actually being true. Mostly she relies on others to help her figure stuff out (a really fantastic PI indeed). She gets her ass kicked more often than not, and we are told repeatedly that she's always having to be rescued. And as for her role as counselor to the dead, she seems kind of whiny about it. She'll help the ghosts with their problems, but only because she's the only one who can, and her attitude about the whole thing is jaded and put-upon. All of these people literally passing through her life, and she can't muster up one emotion that strikes me as genuine (except lust for Reyes).

The plot has ADD. It is seriously all over the place. It wanted to be a mystery...but we also have to fit this romance in...wait, we have to cram some backstory in now....what about these ghosts, maybe we should give them a few subplots...and back to the mystery! I felt distanced from the story because it lacked cohesion.

Recommendation

I just don't know, you guys. I feel like I read a different book from everyone else, because based on the reviews I've seen and the overall ratings on Goodreads and Amazon, this book is much loved. I don't get it. 2.5 stars.

Find your copy here: First Grave on the Right (Charley Davidson, Book 1)

On Ghostbusters: A Review of Anna Dressed In Blood by Kendare Blake

This book was recommended to me around the time that it first came out (I'm sorry, I can't remember who sent the rec), and I'm only just go around to actually reading it. I forgot what it was that made me put it on my wish list to begin with, until I got into the story a ways and then remembered.

It's a ghost hunting book.Woot!

To be more specific, this book is about a teenage boy named Cas who has inherited the ability to kill ghosts from his dearly departed father. Cas and his mother move around a lot so that Cas can stop as many violent spirits as possible. He receives tips from a network of helpers, friends, and fans. When he gets a note about the legend known as Anna Dressed in Blood, he knows he has to follow the lead. But Anna is no ordinary ghost. She's stronger and more violent than anything Cas has faced before. She's also beautiful, vulnerable, and utterly fascinating. And most perplexing of all: She lets Cas live.

Positive Comments

It has the gory horror that the premise advertises. Anna is legitimately terrifying, as are the other baddies of the book. This makes the action more engaging, and makes up for the fairly simplistic world building.

I found myself liking the characters, even though they are only developed on a shallow level. Cas is the "chosen one" type of hero, which normally bores me, but there's enough of a twist to the idea, and enough uniqueness in his personality, that I found myself getting into his character. I liked Thomas and Carmel, who end up as semi-reluctant sidekicks. Anna is by far the most interesting character, no contest. Part villain, part victim, part budding heroine, she's loaded with potential. I hope we get to learn a lot more about her in future books.

Critical Comments

The plot felt cobbled together to me. The two thirds is about Anna and how Cas feels about her--awe, pity, admiration, a little love, pants pissing terror. But near the end the focus shifts abruptly away from Anna. All of the sudden we're resolving Cas's back story--the shift gave me whiplash and left me not wholly invested in the outcome. I wanted to see more of the focus on their dubious friendship/relationship.

The character development and relationship development are shallow, especially with regard to the secondary characters. Not that I expect a big character arc for the sidekicks, but a little something would have been nice.

The logic of how Cas is able to do what he does eludes me. His mother is totally cool with constantly moving to new places so that her teenage son can go out and kill ghosts. By himself. And it's not like she's presented as, say, slightly crazy, or an alcoholic, or on a revenge path. She's presented as a really nice, fairly stable mom. For comparison, I think of Supernatural, in which the back story is that the Winchester brothers spent their whole childhood on the road with their dad, who hunted monsters. The difference being that he's portrayed as obsessive and slightly unhinged, he's driven by revenge, and he's by no means the ideal father. Which is what makes the premise work. In this book, having a mom who acts like a great mom, but chooses never to be too concerned with her son being in danger (until maybe one moment near the end), gives the book a forced, fake feel to it. Monsters killed your husband. Shouldn't you worry more??

Recommendation

Because of the ghost hunting thing, I'd recommend this to fans of Supernatural and things of that genre--urban legend based fantasy. As romance goes, it's alright, but I'd never recommend it to strict romance fans. It's a decent YA. 3 stars.

On Suffering Witches: A Review of One Grave at a Time by Jeaniene Frost

Oh my gosh, Helsing is on the cover! 

 

Six books in, Cat and Bones continue to amuse my inner urban fantasy nerd. I'm so glad to see that this series hasn't yet become stale despite it's age.

Fabian, Cat's ghost friend, has a crush on fellow ghost Elisabeth. But Elisabeth's afterlife is wholly consumed by the goal of killing or entrapping Heinrich Kramer, the ghost of an infamous witch hunter. Since his death, Kramer has maintained his sociopathic attitude toward women, haunting and tormenting them. After so many years, he has gained the ability to become solid for a day, and every year on Halloween he captures, rapes, and burns alive three women. Cat must use her unique abilities to beat this murdering ghost at his own game.

Positive Comments

 We already know the characters, we know the back story, we know the world. There's nothing to stop the author from just telling a story, simple and satisfying, with very little explanation required. That's one of the advantages of being six books deep in a series.

Who doesn't like a good ghost story? I enjoyed having such a plainly evil, villainous villain at the center of the story. He's the kind of bad guy that you love to hate. You want to see him defeated, and see him suffer.

Cat and Bones are still super hot together. Frost writes excellent love scenes that manage to be sexy and romantic. And terribly improbable.

Critical Comments

It's predictable. There was nothing in the plot that I didn't see coming, even the things that were built up to be a surprise.

There are a lot of rather useless characters. Some from past books, which I think the author feels compelled to throw in because they are reader favorites. Some that were new. I couldn't really figure out, for example, why Ian was there or if Cat's mom really served a purpose (I guess she never does).

There are subplots that go nowhere. We learn that following Don's death, the secret organization Cat used to work for has been turned over to a government idiot. I guess this is set up for future books? I'm not sure, but it all seemed a bit out of place to me.

Recommendation

Once again, I recommend starting and continuing The Night Huntress series. It has a good balance of urban fantasy and romance, clever plot lines, and lots of action. 3.5 stars.

On Ghouls: A Review of This Side of the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

This Side of the Grave is book 5 in Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress books. I found book four to be deeply frustrating for a number of reasons (listed here), and so I approached this one wearily.

The main plot of this book involves the threat of a war between vampires and ghouls. Cat's unique abilities and position in the supernatural world place her in the middle of the conflict. In an effort to minimize the bloodshed, she and Bones go to the ghoul queen of New Orleans for help. There Cat learns that her abilities have only just begun to show, and she must fight to keep from being overwhelmed by power even as she tries to end the oncoming war.

Positive Comments

Cat showed a maturity in this book that I didn't see in the previous books. She's come a long way since book one, and it's nice to finally see all of that development realized. Cat's relationship with Bones has likewise matured. And there's still a lot of sex, which I understand might be a negative for some readers, but it's a positive for me.

I like the mythology. You don't see ghouls in too many books. It seems like they fall in line with zombies--second class monsters that are often the villains but rarely the heroes. Frost's ghouls are a little more multidimensional. As a result, the plot engaging.

Critical Comments

My main criticism is just that after 5 books, Frost has ceased to surprise me. Even on the first read through, this book felt familiar, and just shy of predictable. I think the problem stems from having a character evolve over 5 books and so many years, and having many of the changes that she goes through be so drastic. You hit a point where you really don't have anything left to do to that character that readers won't see coming, and where the outcome is not totally apparent from page 1. And that was how this book felt to me. In each book Cat goes through a big trauma, but Frost is running out of things to traumatize her with.

 Overall, this is still a great series. I enjoyed this book, and I do intend to read the next one. 4 stars.

On Retconning: A Review of Destined For An Early Grave by Jeaniene Frost

"Retconning" is defined simply as altering the plot or history of a work of fiction after it's been established. It's one of those plot devices that can be massively annoying and confusing, as well create plot holes. Because of this, the term carries a negative connotation. This is the first time I've felt the need to use the term "retcon" in a review, but it happens to be the most accurate term to describe the plot of Destined for an Early Grave.

In this story, the fourth novel in the Night Huntress series, Cat has begun to dream of a mysterious vampire named Gregor. She finds out that Gregor is known as the Dreamsnatcher, possessing the ability to kidnap people in their dreams. Gregor claims to be married to Cat, according to vampire law. He spent a month with her when she was sixteen, and according to some witnesses he was able to marry her, right before he was imprisoned for his misbehavior. The kicker is, Cat can't remember any of it, because her memory was tampered with. One way or another, Gregor's pursuit of Cat puts her relationship with Bones on the rocks, and all of her friends' lives in jeopardy.

Positive Comments

I know the plot sounds...stupid, and yes, I'll get to criticizing it in a minute. But it does one thing really well: It creates and brings to light all of the internal conflict between Cat and Bones. It forces them to fight, break up, and eventually figure out why they love each other all over again. Frost builds all that turmoil up so effectively that I felt like I was living through a break up in real time. They went from characters that I like and respect, to people who's heads I wanted to knock together. It takes talent to get readers that emotionally invested in a story, kudos to Frost.

World building happens in this book--some of the existing ideas are expanded on, new concepts are introduced, and all without bogging the book down or jumping the shark. The overarching plot (namely Cat's) actually moves forward. There's real character development, and real relationship development. These are all great things, and all things that are really hard to do once you get 4 or 5 books deep into a series.

Critical Comments:

Retconning: It's not always bad, and sometimes it might even be necessary, but overall it's something authors should really avoid doing. One of two things lead to the awkward clunker of a plot device that is "Gregor the Dreamsnatcher". Either the author planned this all along, but failed to foreshadow it so that her readers wouldn't be blind-sided by it, or she made it all up on the spot while writing book 4. Either way, I'm inclined to be annoyed by it because it feels contrived. It creates this great conflict, and it leads to a lot of emotional development for Cat, but it also creates plot holes and weakens Cat's back-story. Couldn't Frost find another way to build the same kind of conflict?

The characters' actions are maddening. Cat has a chance to kill Gregor fairly early on, and her reasons for not taking it are beyond weak. I guess there would have been consequences for his death, but there were huge consequences for letting him live anyway, so she gained nothing. As her primary reason for mercy, she sites residual feelings for him from when she was sixteen. I just don't buy that line of reasoning--he was a manipulative vampire that she knew for a month and had a crush on. Stack that against her bond with Bones and it should be no contest. This was the one time when I really felt like she was betraying Bones, and it honestly damaged my opinion of her. Bones proceeds to make some equally asshole-ish calls, so it evens out in the end. Like I said, I wanted to knock their heads together.

Overall, it was a hell of a book. I was grinding my teeth in frustration throughout most of the middle, so I can't say it was a pleasant reading experience. But again, any emotional reaction is better than none. Obviously, if you're reading the whole series, you'll have to read this one eventually. I don't think you'll be too disappointed, but I wouldn't call this a high point in the series. 3 stars.

For My Fellow Supernatural Fans...

I had to complete an assignment for Technical Writing where I explained a process. Any process. Our teacher gleefully told us that she's received zombie apocalypse survival guides in the past. Naturally I wanted to get my geek on, so I did How to Kill Ghosts (according to Supernatural). I wasn't able to be as snarky as I would have liked, since I had a rubric to follow. I thought I'd share it anyway. (Copyright Disclaimer--I do not own Supernatural, I'm just borrowing it's concepts and characters).

A Comprehensive Guide To Killing Ghosts

(Based on the TV series Supernatural)

This is intended as a guide to getting rid of ghosts who may be haunting, harming, or otherwise bothering you and your family. This process involves burning the body of the deceased person in order to kill his or her ghost. Before beginning this process, you must know who your ghost was in life. You must also know the location of the burial site. This procedure should be performed after dark.  Warning: Ghosts can be extremely aggressive. If one tries to attack you while you are performing the procedure, please flee and consult a professional.

Materials

Large Gardening Shovel

Small Hatchet

Large Canister of Table Salt

Bottle of Lighter Fluid

1 Box of Wooden Matches

Procedure

Step 1: Gather all materials listed above and bring them to the site of your ghost’s grave.

Step 2: Begin digging in front of the grave’s headstone. The hole will need to extend  approximately 6 feet from the headstone, 4 feet length-wise, and will be about 6 feet deep. You will need to dig until the entire coffin is visible. Warning: This is a lengthy and tiresome process. To speed things along, consider having a friend help you dig.

Step 3: Open the coffin lid to gain access to the body. If they coffin is locked, use your shovel or your hatchet to break the lock, and proceed to open the lid.

Step 4: Climb out of the hole. Remove shovel and hatchet from the hole and set them aside.

Step 5: Open salt canister Poor salt over the body, covering as much of the surface of the body as possible. Use all of the salt in the canister. Set aside the empty canister.

Step 6: Open lighter fluid. Sprinkle a generous amount of fluid over the body. Set aside lighter fluid bottle. Warning: Avoid spilling lighter fluid on your skin or clothing. This could result in lighting yourself on fire. If you do spill lighter fluid on your person, wash it off immediately.

Step 7: Light  a match and drop it onto the body. If the match blows out or the body fails to ignite, light a new match and drop it onto the body. Repeat this step until the body appears to be on fire. Warning: Exercise caution when handling fire. Avoid touching skin, eyes, hair, and clothing with the lit match.

Step 8: Allow the body to burn completely. This process is complete when the body is reduced to ash. If the flames go out before this time, add more lighter fluid and repeat step 7 until satisfactory incineration has been achieved. At this point, your ghost should be dead.

Step 9: Clean up. Shovel dirt back into grave. Gather discarded tools an materials to throw away in another location. Exit the area.

Expected Results: Congratulations! Your ghost should now be dead, and you should no longer be haunted. If you are still experiencing a haunting, or if you have any other problems, consult the troubleshooting guide bellow.

Troubleshooting Guide

Surgeons and Vampires: A Review of Lover Unleased by J.R. Ward

This morning I've been revisiting J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Let's just say I'm mildly distressed. I was originally going to do snippet reviews of the nine books currently available in the series. However, my feelings toward the latest one, Lover Unleashed, can't reasonably be contained in one paragraph. So I'm going to review that by itself instead. As to the rest, suffice it to say that they've had their ups and downs but my reaction was extremely positive overall.

I had such mixed feelings about this book when I first read it, and they haven't at all resolved themselves since. Part of me enjoyed the book and part of me is a disappointed. The part of me that likes V, Jane, and Butch is happy to see their story continued and would like to give this book at least four stars. The urban fantasy fan in me is angry because not much happens in the way of progress in the overarching plot. And most importantly, the romantic in me is left unsatisfied by the supposedly central romance.

MINOR SPOILER ALERT

After Payne, Vishous' twin sister, is hurt in a sparring accident Dr. Manuel is called in to operate on her. Manny does everything in his power to fix her medically, but she is still left bedridden. Manny then discovers some unconventional ways of helping Payne get better, and the two begin a relationship of sorts. Meanwhile, V is ten kinds of messed up, and things between he and Jane are not well. A sizable chunk of the book deals with him working through his issues and the two of them becoming more secure together. And Butch...helps with this. The Blay/Quinn subplot continues without much progress. A band of vampire soldiers who once fought under the Bloodletter are introduced. Related to this, there is a serial killer on the loose in the city and the soldiers want to kill him.

Ward's writing style has a kind of ADD that has always bothered me, but really smacked me in the face on this one. This book jumps from subplot to subplot (which almost never fully intersect in the end) to the point where the central plot gets buried. In fact, the central plot (Payne and Manny) probably only occupied 1/4 of the book. This really should have been corrected at some point in the editing process, because the story has a very disjointed feel as it stands.

Who is the main character of this book? You would think it would be Payne. She's interesting, strong, smart, likeable. Focus on her! Her struggles, her healing process, her falling in love, her fighting. Or Manny? He has just as much potential in terms of what he's going through and the world he's been brought into. But they don't seem like main characters because they aren't given much focus. The author seemed bored with them, so I was too. The romance that was there was good, and as I've said there was a lot of potential, but it just never grew into anything worthwhile.

On the other hand, the author was very interested in revisiting V and his issues, which readers are well familiar with. He and Jane had their story already, and a lot of what occurred in this book in terms of V healing should have bee resolved there. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for visiting old characters checking in on their problems. But in this case they stole the show. I enjoyed it, but at the same time it detracted from what should have been the central story. And you would expect V and Payne to spend a sizable amount of time together at least trying to relate, but that doesn't happen too much either.

The other subplots? I couldn't care less. I like Blay and Quinn, I want to see them together, but the drama has worn thin. Just get them together or let them move on. I assume Xcor and the other soldier vamps will be relevant in future books, but their story in this one was pretty anti-climactic. I was expecting some kind of confrontation that never happened, which really annoyed me. And the cop drama/murder thing seemed totally pointless. Again, I assume it was in this book because it will be relevant again later. Fine. But tell a complete story in one book before you worry about setting up for the next one.

I'm a long time fan of this series. Because of that fact, I didn't completely hate this book. It let me revisit some of my favorite characters and did a pretty good job at healing them emotionally. Oh, and I liked the horse subplot and it's relevance to Payne and Manny.

Will I continue with this series? Probably, in a desperate hope that it will get back on track. 2.5 stars for this book.

Snippet Reviews: Immortals After Dark

Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark books remain among my favorite paranormal romance series. Even after nine full sized novels and several novellas the stories haven't lost much momentum.

The overarching plot involves all of the creatures of the Lore (vampires, valkyries, witches shape-shifters, and so on) heading toward war with one another in a classic good vs. evil epic battle. Each book features a different couple on a mission or journey. The timelines of each book overlap with one another, giving the overall series a fun nonlinear style.Cole uses a lot of traditional tropes and plot devices found in paranormal romance, but she also has a talent for turning some of those tropes on their ear. The variety of story types will keep even a jaded reader intrigued.

Book 1: A Hunger Like No Other: Lachlain, the leader of the Lykae, escapes from years of torture at the hands of vampires when he catches the scent of him fated mate. Emmaline, half valkyrie and half vampire, is the last person Lachlain would have chosen or expected as a mate, but he's determined to claim her anyway. The interactions between them are intense. I was struck by the familiar imbalance of power between the too--Lachlain being extremely powerful and overbearing, Emmaline being somewhat sheltered and helpless. This is a sexy, if somewhat irritatingly anti-feminist trope. It's forgivable in this book because Emma really comes into her own by the end, and Lachlain becomes a bit gentler (without being totally de-clawed). Really great first book. 4 stars.

Book 2: No Rest for the Wicked: Kaderin the Cold Hearted, a valkyrie known for her skill in slaying vampires, competes in an Amazing Race style tournament for immortals, hoping to win a prize she covets desperately. Sebastian, knowing that Kaderin is his Bride (fated mate), competes as well in hopes of winning Kaderin over. I liked that Kaderin was such an alpha female, while Sebastain (though quite alpha like in his own right) is not quite as domineering as your typical paranormal romance hero. I loved how much action and adventure this book featured, and I really got into the competitive nature of the plot. 5 stars.

Book 3:Wicked Deeds on a Winter's Night: Bowen, a Lykae, once lost his mate when she tragically ran from him. Now, a witch named Mariketa appears to be his mate. Bowen struggles with his prejudice against witches and Mariketa's desire to build her power. Unfortunately this wasn't a favorite book for me. I didn't care for Bowen as a hero, I found him irrational and overbearing most of the time. I liked Mariketa, but I didn't feel like she and Bowen were a good match. 2.5 stars.

Book 4: Dark Needs at Night's Edge: Conrad, a mostly mad vampire, is locked in a house haunted by Naomi, the ghost of a former ballerina. This is the most successful attempt I've seen at using a ghost as the protagonist of a paranormal romance. It makes for such beautiful imagery, comedy, and an extremely touching romance. I also liked that the hero was inexperienced when it came to sex and women--you don't see too many virgin heroes. 5 stars.

Book 5: Dark Desires After Dusk: Holly is a half valkyrie who knows nothing of her heritage. It turns out that she's the Vessel, a special woman destined to carry a child that will become a warrior for ultimate good or ultimate evil. Cadeon, a demon mercenary, initially intends to kidnap for his own purposes, but ends up in love with her instead. Holly has some rather adorable nerd tendencies and OCD, which I quite enjoyed. I wasn't quite as enthusiastic about Cadeon as a hero. He felt underdeveloped to me. 4 stars.



Book 6: Kiss of a Demon King: Dethrone demon king Rydstorm falls in love with the evil sorceress Sabine. I was really excited that the heroine had such a dark personality, and I found her back story intensely interesting. Rydstorm is not quite as interesting, but still manages to be three dimensional. The romance is surprisingly satisfying. The plot drags a bit in some places, but for the most part it keeps your interest. 4.5 stars.

Book 7: Pleasure of a Dark Prince: Garreth, prince of the Lykae, discovers that Lucia the valkyrie and master archer is his mate. Lucia actively runs from him, busy pursuing her own mission. Lucia has some old scores to settle and an apocalypse to avert. Lucia and Garreth are probably my favorite couple of the series, I feel that they have a lot of chemistry. The timeline of this book goes all the way back to book one, and I thought that was pretty impressive. 5 stars.

Book 8: Demon From the Dark: Carrow the witch is blackmailed and sent to Oblivion, a hell plane, to apprehend Malkom (a half demon, half vampire). Malkom is pretty violent and isolated by nature, for good reason. I found him intensely interesting. I liked Carrow as well, and she develops a great deal throughout the book--from carefree party girl to responsible guardian. I felt their chemistry was a bit forced, but it still had it's moments. 4 stars.

Book 9: Dreams of a Dark Warrior: This one has an ambitious plot. Regin, a valkyrie, meets Aiden the berserker when she's very young. He fully intends to make her his mate, but dies before he can win his immortality. Several incarnations later, he's back as Declan Chase, a human involved in the capture, torture and murder of immortals. Regin remains one of my all time favorite characters, with her humor and fierceness. With Chase, I felt that Cole struggled to go from villain to fully redeemed hero. It was a little unbelievable, and I just didn't connect with him as strongly as I wanted to--and therefore didn't fully buy into the romance. 3.5 stars.

All things told, this remains an above average series and I always look forward to new releases.Happy Reading!

On Undeath: A Review of One Foot in the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

A year ago I read Halfway to the Grave by Jeaniene Frost, and I liked it fairly well. If I had to label it, I would say that it was a very traditional vampire/vampire slayer urban fantasy. There's nothing wrong with that. While I often complain that there are too many vampires in romance and fantasy these days, there are still vampire books that work for me. Happily, the Night Huntress books seem to be among them. The following review contains spoilers from book 1.

Despite the fact that its been a year and many books since Halfway to the Grave, I found One Foot in the Grave easy to pick up and get into. It takes place four years after the first book ends. Cat and her team of human helpers track a master vampire and Cat discovers that this vampire has connections to her former lover, Bones. Cat still loves Bones, but believes that they can never be together for a variety of reasons. Still, her loyalty to him presents a conflict because her job is essentially to wipe out as many vampires as possible.

The world building in these books is so simple, and I mean that in the best way possible. The vampires are presented in a way that's familiar to fans of urban fantasy--they're old and slick and slightly amoral, they have select powers as well as weaknesses, and there's a hierarchical system of government. That's it. Nobody has incomprehensible, complicated powers. They don't have wings. There are ghouls and ghosts, and a hint of a few other things. But no long list of creatures. No glossary or list of vocab words to learn. For me, this is quite refreshing.


Though she's lost most of the naivety she showed in the first book, Cat is still a highly conflicted character. Her duel nature and abilities make her lonely. She doesn't go through a dramatic development in this book, but rather makes a few adjustments to her worldview. Mainly this involves her deciding whether to attempt to manage a relationship with Bones, and how to manage her team of human hunters. I didn't mind the very linear and simplistic character arc, because I felt that the big development had already taken place in the first book.

I'm a fan of Bones. He's intriguing and sexy, and has a lot of interesting history to delve into. I was happy to see him front and center in this story. And oh my, the relationship between Cat and Bones gets STEAMY. I liked the secondary characters as well: Tate, Juan, etc. It made me smile to see Cat acting as their leader. The friendships were oddly heartwarming. I'm hoping to see each of them fleshed out more later in the series.

The plot doesn't flow very smoothly. At times it seems like a series of loosely related events, some of which connect and make sense in the end and some of which were pretty unnecessary. There's a subplot where Cat dates a human named Noah that pretty much goes nowhere. She doesn't feel much for him beyond not hating his company, and their interactions are weak and limited. He could have been removed from the story entirely without any real effect. I thought this was a wasted opportunity, since actively dating a human guy might have showed an entirely different "human" side of Cat. There were a few other half baked little subplots that I think may or may not be addressed in future books. The bottom line is, the story lacked somewhat when it comes to focus.

I think if your in the mood for a vampire story, the Night Huntress series is a pretty good bet. Interesting characters, lots of action, and plenty of romance. 3.5 stars.